Mall of America

We took a completely spur of the moment trip to the Mall of America today.  When we woke up, it looked like it was going to be a rather overcast, possibly rainy day.  So we loaded up the car and out the door we went.  The original plan was to take the girls to the aquarium so that they could see all the sharks, sea turtles, jellyfish and more.  But we never made it that far.  We got hung up in Nickelodeon Universe.  They had so much fun.  It was really great seeing their faces light up at the start of each ride.  They were even brave enough to go on the Log Chute with me which includes two big drops into the water below!!

Here are some pictures of just a few of the things that we did. 

Their first ride on a carousel.

Riding on Dora's ferris wheel.

My big girls went for a train ride all by themsleves!!

They met the Backyardigans.  Addi's hug with Pablo.

Livi's hug with Pablo.

Last but not least.  Weeeee!!!!!

A close-up of the expressions.  As much as it might not look it, they really did have fun!

Overall, it was a great day.  Like I said, seeing their little faces light up with pure enjoyment was something that I needed.  Nate did too.  For a few hours today, we felt almost like a "normal" family.  I did have a bit of a hard time when the girls went to meet the Backyardigans.  That was Elli's favorite cartoon.  She would become entranced in the bright colors and catchy music.  So that was tough.  But I couldn't deny the girls the chance to hug Pablo and Uniqua (yes, I know their names!!).

Anyway.  The girls thoroughly enjoyed themselves.  Even though we talked all about the sharks on our trip to the mall, they didn't ask a single time while we were there if we were going to see them.  But leave it to sneaky little toddlers, and the minute they realized we were getting loaded back up into the car..."what about the sharks?"  Stinkers.  Just like bedtime.  Not thirsty, not thirsty, not thirsty.  Lay them down..."I'm thirsty."  Too funny.

Title this yourself

There seriously are no words.  Sometimes I wonder what goes through the minds of almost 3 year olds.  Underwear on your head?  Wow.  Just, wow.  They sure are proud of themselves though!

Happy Birthday, Sweet Angel

Our lives were forever changed when Miss Elliana Jo entered this world at 7:25am on September 13, 2010.  I wish I had the words to describe the moment that I first laid my eyes on her.  I was captivated.  I experienced a love so deep.  Then she opened her eyes and looked into mine.  And I melted.  She was mine.  She will always be mine.  What an amazing, gorgeous, perfect baby girl.

Elli, you send me little signs that you're watching over us and I thank you for that.  Just yesterday, I went to the party store to buy you some balloons for your birthday.  After I purchased them, I realized that I bought 14 total and I thought "well, shoot, I should've just bought 13 since that's the day you were born."  Once I got home, I was unloading the balloons from the car and *pop* - we've now been left with 13.  You're always there.

Happy 1st Birthday to the sweetest, most beautiful Angel in Heaven.  Not an hour goes by in which I don't think of you.  But I imagine that you're singing and dancing with all of the other Angels.  We love you baby doll.  Happy Birthday.

Latest obsessions

Doors, light switches, lipstick and deodorant.  Weird combinations, right?

Alivia must shut every.single.door she sees open.  Every one.  If they're the last two kids left at daycare when I pick them up, she has to shut every door on our walk out of the building.  First thing she does when she wakes up in the morning is to shut the girls' bedroom door, our bedroom door, the bathroom door and the small closet door.  The other morning, she shut every door, as per routine.  Minutes later, I had to go to the bathroom.  But the naughty mama that I am, I left the bathroom without shutting the door.  She came running down the hallway yelling "no mama, no mama" proceeded to put her hands on my thighs in a stopping type of motion and demanded "shut the door!!"  As I shut the door, she turned to head back down the hallway, throwing her hair behind her and said "THANK you mama!"  And just as she said that, she stopped dead in her tracks, turned back around and said "now give me a hug."  Gotta love that girl.  The obsession with shutting doors?  Well, whatever.

Then there's Adalyn.  If there's a light switch, it calls her name.  She feels the strong desire to turn on every single light in the house.  I usually go right behind her to turn each one of them off!!  She usually notices though and backtracks her steps to turn all of them back on again.  She's lucky she doesn't have to pay the electric bill!  Add to the fact that she opens a door to turn a light on while Livi has an obsession with shutting doors...sometimes a light or two will be on for an hour or more before I realize it! 

Lastly, lipstick and deodorant.  My morning routine no longer entails being able to disappear into the bathroom to throw myself together.  Nope.  I have two young kids banging on my door yelling "mommy let me in!"  That's because they know what I'm doing in there...and they want to have fun too!  Each one of them takes their turn taking the cap off my lipstick, twisting it upwards, smudging it all across their lips, spinning the color back down and replacing the cap.  From there, they must dig out my deodorant and give each one of their armpits a little tickle.  They're obsessed.  At least I probably have the best smelling kids in daycare!!  And I would probably have the scariest looking ones too if I let them go with their lipstick on, but luckily for them, faces get washed before we head out the door.

Doors, light switches, lipstick and deodorant.  It's the simple things in life!!

Our first camping trip

We went on our first camping trip in the middle of August.  I guess you can't call it real camping because we weren't "tenting" it by any means.  We were actually spending the night in my parents' RV.  However, we had it parked at a campground if that counts!!  This camping trip was planned well before Elli died.  And we seriously contemplated if we should even follow through with the original plans.  But in the end, we decided that we needed to do something "normal" as a family and couldn't deprive the girls of their first experience camping.  They had a lot of fun on grandma and grandpa's "bus" and they each had a little trick up their sleeve...

The second night they were kind of refusing to sleep, so Nate and I drove them home (luckily we were at a campground only 20 minutes away) so they could sleep in their own beds.  Early the next morning, we got a call from my mom asking if we had accidentally taken my brother Jason's keys.  Ummm, nope.  So they searched and they searched and they searched.  By the time we got back to the campground, they had found them.  You want to know where?  In the girls' ziploc crayon bag!  You want to know who takes ownership to hiding them in the crayon bag?  Addi.  She flat out confessed to putting them in there.  Luckily everyone found it rather funny.  Otherwise she would've had a lot of explaining to do because she had grandpa digging through the garbage (in the campground dumpster, not just our own garbage!) looking for those keys!!  What a sneaky little girl.

Livi's little trick didn't come to light until a couple weeks later when my parents went on a camping trip by themselves.  As the air was running, they heard something kind of rattling in the vent.  When they got to the campground and turned the RV off, it sunk back in.  So dad restarted the RV only for a cap of some sort to come shooting out.  Not thinking much of it, they tossed it in the garbage.  Not long after, they decided they wanted to listen to the radio.  And drumroll please...the radio knob was missing.  Haha!  We knew she was sitting in the driver's seat quite often on our camping trip playing with all the buttons.  But no one was aware that she had removed the radio knob and jammed it down one of the A/C vents!!  Oops.  Good thing they hadn't taken out the trash yet!

Anyway, here are some pictures of our first camping trip.

They drew pretty pictures outside the RV.

Livi watched aunt Chelsea color a rainbow.

She rode a motorcycle!

And a dinosaur!!

Addi built...well, I'm not sure what.

She enjoyed the swings.

And she plunged down the frog waterslide!

I didn't take nearly as many pictures as I normally do.  But life's simply not normal right now.  Life will never be normal ever again.  I'm trying harder every day to remember to take more pictures and videos of the girls just like I used to.  I don't want to forget a single moment of them growing up (which is one of the reasons this blog was created).  I never used to go more than a couple days without taking pictures or a week without video.  My picture taking has dropped to once a week if I'm lucky.  And the video footage?  It's dismal.  I need to continue to work on it.  I promise I will.

Part 2 - Elli's Birth

I arrived at the hospital at about 10:30pm.  By the time I made it up to Labor and Delivery and they hooked me up to the monitors, I was contracting every 2-3 minutes!!  The nurse checked to see how dilated I was and I was 4cm.   She told me that she definitely thought they'd be keeping me because at 4cm and contracting every 2-3 minutes, they'd be nervous to send me home.  I remember having a little "argument" with her saying that they couldn't possibly be keeping me...I think I was expecting to be sent home at least once.  All of a sudden reality was really beginning to hit that I may not leave this hospital without a baby in my arms!!  So I called my parents immediately and told them to start making the 1 1/2 hour trip to the house so that Nate could then come join me.  I was expecting his arrival around 12:30am or so.

I walked the halls for a bit.  And at midnight, the resident came in my room to check me.  I was only 4 1/2cm!  Grrr.  I was nervous that they were going to send me home.  My parents would've just been arriving at the house only for me to show up shortly behind them!!  Luckily, they told me they would give me another couple hours to see what happened.  So I texted Nate the update and then went for another walk.  It was at some point during that walk that he arrived at the hospital and so graciously walked the halls with me.

At 2am when I was checked, I was 6cm.  I was hoping for more given that my body had already done this before, but oh well, we were moving in the right direction.  They said at that point I could have an epidural. It took just under 3 hours to finally get it because the anesthesiologist listed as on call wasn’t actually on call! So it took some time to find out who was!

During this time, as I was breathing through every contraction, Nate was drifting off to sleep.  Not a big deal, we both had been awake since 6:30am the morning before, so we were tired and one of us might as well get some sleep.  At least twice (but maybe three times), he startled himself awake, looked over at me and would say "honey, why don't you try to get some rest."  Ummmm, excuse me!?  How about YOU contract every 2-3 mintes for 90 seconds at a time and see how much rest YOU can get!!!  I didn't say that.  I sure thought it though!  We think that in his groggy state, he actually thought that I had already received the epidural and that I should now relax.  Ha.  Umm, not so much.  This is painful work!!

Finally at 4:45am, I got the epidural. When I was checked again at 5am, I had stalled out at 6cm!! I couldn’t believe it! I contracted for 3 hours with absolutely no change.  Talk about feeling defeated!  They asked if I wanted them to break my water and I said that I did. I figured that something had to kick start this process again!

At 5:45am, the doc came in to break my water. And at 7:14am, realizing that I hadn't given my mom an update all night, I made a call to let her know that things had slowed down a bit and it might still be a while. Just as I said that, I said “I gotta go, I’m feeling a ton of pressure.” The nurse checked me 2 minutes later and her eyes got really big. She said “uh, yeah, there’s a baby sitting right there!” She grabbed the doc quick who came in and said “let’s give a little practice push.” Half a push later he yelled at me to STOP and frantically started searching for some gloves. I had no idea why I was told to stop.  I actually thought something was wrong because I couldn't feel a single thing (this epidural was much denser than with the twins, I felt quite a bit with them).  So when I was yelled at to stop, I had no idea that she was crowning with just that little half of a push.  After the doctor got his gloves on I was instructed to begin pushing again.  In one push, out came her head. And with one more push the rest of her body slid out at 7:25am. So much for things slowing down! I went from 6cm to baby in 1 ½ hours and just 2 1/2 little pushes!

After asking Nate to announce the gender (because we didn’t know), they placed her on my chest. My immediate thought was that she was definitely bigger than Alivia (who was 6lbs 15oz) but not *that much* bigger. Sure enough, when they weighed her, she was exactly a pound and a half larger at 8lbs 7oz and I was absolutely shocked!

Our lives forever changed on September 13, 2010 at 7:25am when this chunky, gorgeous, amazing, beautiful, incredible, perfect baby girl graced us with her presence.  I was awestruck.  Nate was teary-eyed.  We created another absolutely perfect baby girl.  Miss Elliana Jo.

Our first time holding our precious Baby Elli.

I want to tell a story...

And that's the story of Elli's birth.  It all begins the morning of September 12th.  It was a Sunday.  Nate and I had plans of going to church, but being heavily pregnant, I knew I couldn't wrangle with two not quite two year olds through a church service.  So we had arranged the night before to have one of our good friends, Kristin, here to watch the girls.

When we got in the car that morning, I immediately told Nate that I didn't think I could do it.  I definitely felt off and sitting on a hard, wooden pew for an hour didn't sound appealing in the least.   I had quite a suspicion that I was in early labor.  So we drove around for a little bit, too embarrassed to go back to the house to tell Kristin that we brought her over early in the morning to watch the girls for nothing.  We eventually stopped at a restaurant to get some breakfast.

After we ate breakfast we migrated back home and let Kristin leave.  It was about 9:30am at this point.  I honestly have no recollection of what I did with myself for the next several hours.  In retrospect, the same thing happened when I was in early labor with the big girls.  I zoned out fairly large chunks of time!!

Anyway, the Packers were playing at 3:15pm and I remember telling Nate during our car ride around town how weird it would be if I went into labor during the Packer game.  It was Sunday the 12th and that's exactly when I went into labor with the twins!!  Except my labor with the twins began during a 12:00 noon game on Sunday the 12th.  And then I remember saying it would be even more weird to deliver the new baby Monday morning because the twins were born Monday morning the 13th.

If only I knew during that early morning conversation what we were in for!!  I remember sitting in the kitchen watching the game on a tiny 13 inch TV while the big girls watched Sesame Street on our 55" TV in the living room.  It was about 4:30pm or so.  And I remember being so thankful for that big screen TV to entertain the girls because by this point, I was pretty gosh darn positive that I was in labor and was pretty uncomfortable.  I still hadn't said anything to Nate because I was worried things would fizzle out.

My labor nurse from the twins' delivery texted me at 6:00pm asking me how I was doing and I responded by telling her that I was contracting every 6-9 minutes but most weren't terribly painful.  Quite uncomfortable, yes.  But not what I would really call painful.  By 8:30pm, I texted her again asking if she knew who was working the overnights because things were picking up.  Nate and I finally got the girls to bed and I timed my contractions even closer.  They were about 5 minutes apart and beginning to last much longer and become more painful.

Nate asked me what seemed like a hundred times "do you think this is it?"  And each time I responded more abruptly and more annoyed, "Nate, I don't know, I don't KNOW!"  And I honestly didn't.  I was expecting to have loads of back pain because that's what I had with the twins.  That's all I knew labor to be.  So when I didn't have *any* back pain, I was seriously wondering if I was jumping the gun.  In hindsight, thinking about how much that question irritated me and how I was snapping at Nate to leave me alone, I should've known I was in labor!!  Haha, oops.  Sorry hun.

After storming off into the bedroom after Nate asked me (yet again, mind you!) if I thought it was the real thing, I emerged dressed and ready to go.  It was 10pm and Nate was wondering what in the heck I was doing.  When I stormed off, annoyed that he asked me the same stinking question that I gave the same answer to every 10 minutes, I told him I was going to bed.  However, when I got to bed, I realized I couldn't lay down.  So I got dressed to go to the hospital!!

Nate took a couple pictures of me as I walked out the door.  I stood by the car door, waiting to have a contraction before I jumped in the car to make the drive.  Yes, I drove myself.  I figured with contractions every 5 minutes apart, I would only have to have 2 contractions before I arrived.  And being that it was late, late at night, I didn't want to call any neighbors over just for me to be sent back home a couple hours later.  Let's face it, I had 5 preterm labor admissions with the twins, which I was happy to be sent back home after.  And then I had one false alarm with them before the real deal.  So we agreed that I would go alone, hopefully establish if I was indeed in labor, and then make some necessary phone calls if needed.

To be continued...

Our world came crashing down

On Sunday, June 26, 2011, our sweet Baby Elli grew her Angel wings.  Born on 9/13 and she will forever be 9 months and 13 days old.

Life must go on, we're just not exactly sure how.  Addi and Livi need us.

I will resume the blog at some point.  I still feel the need to document the lives of Miss Adalyn and Miss Alivia.  But for now, I'll be taking a break.  Our family is devastated and we need some time to grieve and to heal.

3 months old

6 months old

Our final pictures - 9 months old

Fun in the Sun

We've been spending a lot of time outside the past couple of weeks.  The girls ask almost every single day if we can play at the park or go swimming.  They absolutely love it outside and I'm already getting nervous about when the snow begins to fly and we're cooped up in the house all day!! 

When I'm home alone, I typically put Elli in her highchair so that she can eat a snack by the patio door while I supervise Addi and Livi playing in the water.  Or if it's not too hot, she comes outside and crawls around in the yard or plays in her jumper.  As is evidenced by the insane number of pictures in this post, we've been spending a LOT of time in the pool. 

Addi is such a peanut.

"Mom, I've got TWO boats!!"

Drinking water out of the "waterfall"

The girls even helped Elli enjoy her first time in the frog pool.

Splashy, splashy!!

Livi dumping water overboard while Addi supervises.

Elli enjoying the weather in her jumper.

Livi is such a sweet honey pie.

"Mom, what's daddy doing over there?!" (she was very concerned!)

They love it.

9 months already?!

Elli had her 9 month appt on Monday.  Dr K is very pleased with her development and doesn't have any concerns about her...well, except for her really crappy sleeping habits.  The literature that was given at the appt said that "a typical 9 month old should be taking 2 naps a day, one in the morning and one in the afternoon, in addition to sleeping 10 to 12 hours at night without waking for feedings."  Um, yeah right.  We're on an every 2 hour feeding schedule, but we also have to calm her every 20 minutes it seems like.  It's seriously that bad.

Of course, now that I've come back to writing this for the 4th time while I'm trying to get Elli to settle in, I'm seriously beginnng to wonder if she has reflux.  Why couldn't I have had this thought two days ago when she had her appt?!  Elli is sooooo restless at night.  She tosses and turns and tosses and turns.  And kicks her legs in the air, cries out briefly, kicks her legs in the air again, thrashes her arms, etc.  For the past two months or so, I was thinking she was extremely gassy and it was getting trapped in her belly at night.  Now I'm having different thoughts.

When I really think about it, it makes sense.  She wants to eat c.o.n.s.t.a.n.t.l.y at night.  Well constant swallowing would help keep the acid down and milk is a natural acid reducer.  It seems quite logical to me.  So I don't know.  I guess I'll be calling the office in the morning and seeing if maybe Dr K will prescribe something for her on a trial basis just to see if that helps with her sleeping.  People keep telling me that I just have to let her cry.  But my gut feelng is that something's just not right.  I thought it was gas (which I DID address with Dr K at the appt), but now I have other thoughts.  I can't let her cry it out.  Not when my gut tells me that she's uncomfortable.

Anyway.  She's huge.  Nothing surprising there!  She's 29 1/4 inches long and exactly 21 pounds!  She outweighed the girls by 3 1/2 pounds at this age!  In fact, they were only 19 pounds at a year old, so she's definitely a lot bigger than they were.  I told Nate that Elli is gaining on the girls so quickly in height and weight that eventually people might think we have triplets!!

So she's finally sleeping *well* for now.  Within the next 30 minutes I'm sure I'll have to calm her down from her tossing, turning, and thrashing.  And then within the next 2 hours I'll have to feed her.  So I really should go to bed.

Baby Elli

That's what the big girls call her.  If you ask them what Elli's name is, they always say "Baby Elli."  They never just say baby or Elli, it's always Baby Elli.  Baby Elli is awake!  Baby Elli is crying.  Baby Elli is silly.  Baby Elli is sleeping.  Baby Elli pulled my hair!  Baby Elli is talking.  And it goes on and on and on.  I kind of wonder how long she will hold that name!  But anyway, here are some pictures of "Baby Elli."

She's such a happy girl.

She couldn't resist squeezing this bear's nose.

Hanging on so tight!!

What a ham.

My bright little blue-eyed baby.

Caught in mid-chew.

Poor girl watching her sisters play outside...she wants to play too!