First snowfall

The girls enjoyed the first snowfall of the year.  Unfortunately for them, the snow is now gone.  I definitely wouldn't mind if it didn't come back.  But for the girls sake, I hope we eventually get a few inches that stick around for a while.  As you'll see, they went sledding in our front yard!  There were only a couple problems...our front yard isn't terribly slanted and you can still see the grass beneath the snow!  We sure didn't get a lot of white stuff, but they had fun anyway.

I'm so in love

We welcomed a new member into our family!  On November 18th, a beautiful little baby was born.  My brother and sister-in-law had their first baby.  I'm now the proud auntie of a gorgeous baby girl.  Our sweet little niece took her time in getting here as she was two days overdue, but the little peanut only weighed 7#2oz.  We had the pleasure of getting to meet her when she was just 6 1/2 hours old! 

I will never forget receiving the phone call from my brother announcing that she was a SHE!  I was in disbelief!  Another little girl for my side of the family.  And I will never forget meeting her for the very first time.  She is amazingly beautiful and absolutely perfect.

I am so in love.

Out of the mouths of babes...

Conversation that happened a couple days ago:

Livi:  "Mama, I'm gonna talk to Baby Elli."
Me:  "Okay, honey"
(she picks up my cell phone)
Livi:  "Hello?? Baby Elli?? Are you there?"
(long pause, gently puts down the phone, dejected look on her face)
Livi:  "Baby Elli's not there" (hangs her head and slowly walks off)
Me thinking:  Child, you're breaking my heart

3 hours later...

Livi:  "Mama, I'm gonna talk to Baby Elli"
Me thinking: Here we go again
Me:  "Okay, honey"
(she picks up my cell phone)
Livi:  "Hello?? Baby Elli?? Are you there?"
(pause....)
Livi:  "Oh, you're in Heaven? With Jesus? Oh!"
(long pause....)
Livi:  "Well, I love you Baby Elli." (puts down the phone and prances off)
Me thinking:  Child, you're breaking my heart...again

Tough stuff

Today Elli would be 14 months old. Today also marks exactly 20 weeks, 140 days, since we said goodbye. I can't describe how it feels to go to bed each night and see Elli's blanket laying across my pillow, waiting for me. How it feels to tuck it under my chin and snuggle with it as I attempt to drift off to sleep. I can't describe the ache in my heart. The empty void. There are just no words to adequately describe any of it.

We're having our family pictures taken tomorrow. It seems so wrong. So, so, so wrong. My family is not complete. We're missing a huge part. I know I need to move forward with them, but I feel like I'm betraying Elli. I feel like I can't call them "family pictures"...because Elli won't be there.

I'm sorry the blog is not all sunshine and roses.  However, this is my reality...it's far from sunshine and roses.  I understand if people no longer want to read (family included), because not everything I say will be cheery.  There's so much sadness in my heart.  Tonight is one of those really rough nights.  I needed an outlet.  This was it.

The day has come

The girls climb out of their cribs.  We put them in big girl beds for one night back in January.  But when our non-sleeper migrated over to our sleeper's bed about six times in the middle of the night and then about five times during nap that next afternoon, we promptly put the cribs back together.  Hey, if they were sleeping reasonably well in their cribs before, why rock the boat, right?

Fast forward 10 months.  About a week ago they started climbing out just in the morning and at the end of nap time.  It was a nice little surprise in the morning to have my two little munchkins greet me at my bedside.  Nate and I contemplated breaking the cribs down into big girl beds again, however, they were only coming out once "sleepy time" was over.  But it happened...

They now climb out when they simply don't want to be in bed.  We put them to bed one hour and fifteen minutes ago.  And we've put them back in bed several times.  They seem kind of content right now.  I'm hoping it lasts for the rest of the night.  Now that they're climbing out whenever they want (as opposed to just when "sleepy time" is over), we'll probably be breaking the cribs down tomorrow.  There's no sense in keeping them in the cribs and risk them getting hurt getting out.  So big girl beds it will be.  Here's to several bedtime battles coming up!!!

Halloween 2011

What does a dragon say?  "Rawr!"

 

I think this is Addi.

And I think this is Livi.

Livi was running back and forth with all the pumpkins.

One of my dragons (Addi) peaking at her treats.

Love it.