First OB appointment

Short story.  Baby's great.  Mommy...not so much!

I had my first appointment with the Nurse Practitioner on Friday.  Baby #4's heartbeat was just galloping away at 174bpm.  She was a tricky little thing to hunt down.  We found her for a couple of minutes, but she maintained enough of a distance so that the doppler wouldn't actually read how fast her heart was beating.  We could hear it, however the doppler just couldn't count it.  So the NP had me place my hands under my butt to try to tilt her closer.  Sure enough, that worked! 

As for me, well, the morning sickness decided it would make a late arrival compared to my last two pregnancies.  It hit with a vengeance about two weeks ago...right at about the time that it would normally start subsiding for me.  Ick.  Add to that, I was blasted with a nasty head cold a little shy of a week ago and I sometimes feel like a train wreck!!  Oh well, I'll deal.  Just hoping that within the next couple of weeks, the morning sickness will be gone, the cold should definitely be done, and I'll feel like a brand new person!!

All about Livi

What can I say about sweet little Livi.  She has such a tender heart.  She's so caring, attentive and polite.  I'm not quite sure where she gets her manners from, but she's so quick to spout out a "thank you, mama" or "I'm sorry, mama."  We work on our manners, but at times she takes it to the extreme.  If she so much as walks too close to you she'll stop and apologize!! 

Livi is our little Mother Hen.  She is very nurturing and gentle.  She's the first one to ask what's wrong.  If I'm laying on the couch, she's the one who will take the time to cover me up with a blanket.  She was that way with Elli.  She always made sure Elli had her blanket and if Elli started to cry, Livi was the first one to find a nuk for her.

Despite the kindhearted little soul that she is, she is also learning to stand up for herself.  Six months ago, she used to let Addi walk all over her.  But not anymore.  And in all honesty, she can now sometimes be an antagonizer!!  I vividly recall her stealing both of Addi's teddy bears, louding proclaiming "my teddies, MY teddies!" until she caught Addi's attention, then it was a full out sprint down the hallway.

Livi enjoys both group play as well as solitary play (when Addi will let her be alone that is!).  She still enjoys watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas even though Christmas is long gone.  She loves, loves, loves crackers...of almost any kind.  When she asks if she can have a snack, you can pretty much guarantee that she'll be asking for crackers.  Then it's a matter of figuring out which kind since she loves them all!!

She loves white milk but will not touch chocolate milk.  She loves peas in the pod and eats them whole but is fairly indifferent to any other kinds of peas...sometimes she eats them, sometimes she refuses.  Her typical breakfast food is waffles.  Every now and then she'll surprise me and ask for cereal or pancakes.   But for the most part, she's a waffle girl.

Bottom line:  She's a keeper!!

Feeling lazy

The title speaks for itself. Low motivation lately. Partly due to pregnancy. Probably partly due to the weather. And partly due to many other things. So here are a few recent snow pictures. Who said you shouldn't eat snow? That's what being a kid is all about, right?

Debut of Baby #4

Here she is!!

Baby looked great today.  She was measuring 5 days ahead of schedule with a very strong heartbeat of 163bpm.  The girls were with us at the appointment.  They both said that they wanted a baby sister.  So for the rest of the pregnancy, I will probably be referring to the baby as a "she."  Just like with our other pregancies, we won't be finding out the sex of the baby until the big birthday.

So all is well.  I continue to not be as sick as I was with the other two pregnancies but much, much more tired.  The girls are excited.  They know there's a baby in mommy's belly but that the baby has to get a lot bigger before it can come out to play.  It should be interesting to see how many times they go back and forth between wanting a brother or a sister before the baby actually gets here!

New Year!

With a New Year comes new news...

We're expecting Baby #4.  Now this isn't necessarily new news for people who know us in real life because the word has been out for about a week now.  But for everyone else, it's new news!  I'm 7 weeks pregnant today, due August 22nd.  Last week, we had a confirmed heartbeat.  I was in the Emergency Room for a completely unrelated issue (I was lucky to get the stomach bug for Christmas...I must've really made Santa's naughty list!) and they decided to do an ultrasound while I was there.  So we got a brief little glimpse at a flickering heartbeat.

However, I do have a scheduled ultrasound lined up for Monday, January 9th.  We'll be able to confirm that there is just one baby and make sure that the heartbeat is reassuring.  Hopefully I'll have at least one picture to share then.

I'm feeling okay.  Out of the three pregnancies, this is probably the least sick I've been (knock on wood!).  It tends to come in waves.  But overall, I really can't complain.  I am, however, more tired than I was during the other two pregnancies...that I remember anyway!  Heck, I'll take the exhaustion over morning sickness any day!!

Anyway, this is the first year since I started the blog that I didn't do a "Year in Review."  I thought about it, but I just couldn't.  Come June 2011, I simply would not have had the words.  So I opted out of doing it.  I went back and forth on that decision, but ultimately realized that as much as I loved doing the yearly reviews in the past, 2011's would've been far too painful.

Here's to 2012!  I'm excited it's here.

Christmas Presents!!

Brown Christmas?

Well, it looks like this year isn't going to be a white Christmas.  I don't ever remember not having snow on the ground for Christmas.  Ever!  I mean, we live in Wisconsin...there's usually snow.  And lots of it!  But with the big holiday only being four days away and no snow in the forecast, it looks like it's definitely going to be a brown Christmas.

The girls had their Christmas party today at daycare.  They were soooo excited.  Usually I hear "mama, I don't wanna go to Amy's house."  Amy is their teacher at the daycare center, so therefore, in their eyes, it's Amy's house!  They say it pretty much every single morning, whether it's a daycare day or not.  I don't think they really mean it, because they get dressed without a fight, they talk about what they're going to show Amy and their friends, etc.

So this morning, they walked into our bedroom at 6:30am.  Nate is already gone to work by that time, so they crawled into bed with me and wanted to watch some cartoons.  I just turned the TV on when they said that they didn't want to go to Amy's house.  So I asked them "well what about your party?"  Oh my.  They pretty much hopped out of bed and insisted on getting ready for daycare.  Now keep in mind that we don't leave the house until after 8:00.  And if they sleep in, I don't get them up until 7:45 because it doesn't take long to get them ready and out the door.  And here they are, just after 6:30, itching at the bit to get a move on as quickly as possible.  Ummmm, no.

When I picked them up, they told me all about sitting on Santa's lap.  And there was a little gift exchange.  I had to buy gifts for two of the other little girls at the daycare for the gift exchange so the girls received a couple gifts in return. 

Oh yeah, and they proudly told me that they said "Happy Birthday!" to Santa.  I explained to them on the way to daycare that they needed to tell Santa Merry Christmas.  But they were so excited to tell me that they told him Happy Birthday that I just couldn't burst their bubble!!

Sleeping update

I knew it was too good to be true!  The first week or so, I think the girls were in a honeymoon phase with their big girl beds.  They went to bed reasonably well and slept through the night.  The past week has been a slightly different story....

They still walk down the hallway to their rooms reasonably well and climb into their beds.  They excitedly say good-night, I love you, sweet dreams.  And from there, well, it pretty much goes downhill.  The second the door closes behind us we hear "sissy, do you wanna play?"  And within a few more seconds, they lock the door (yes, they feel the need to lock the door every.single.time) and the light goes on.  Then play time begins.

The other night, we put them to bed at 8:20pm and they didn't crash until 11:15pm!!  Nate and went in a few times (after unlocking the door with our screwdriver, of course) and put them back in bed, only for the fun to begin moments after leaving the room once again.  That night, they were playing their recorders (which they call flutes) and yelling "I'm a cowboy!!"  Annoying, but funny.  Very funny.

They were entertaining to say the least.  Nate and I finally gave up, because after all, at least they were staying put and not leaving their bedroom!  So anyway, it finally got quiet at about 11:15pm, so about 10 minutes later I went in (after unlocking the door again, of course) to cover both of them up.  Turns out they both had crashed in Livi's bed!  Aww, they were sleeping together for the first time since they were about 6 weeks old!  So sweet.

But yeah, big girls beds have been an adventure so far. 

Success!

The transition to big girl beds has been a success...knock on wood.  The first two nights they went to bed without a peep and slept straight through the night!  Tonight was a little bit more interesting, but still much better than I expected.  It sounded like they were at a sleepover, just chatting away.  I heard one of them end up locking the door, but I was still okay with that.  I could still hear what they were up to and have our screwdriver in case I really needed to get in.  However, once the monitor got turned off, it was time to intervene.

And sure enough, they were having a slumber party in Livi's bed.  All of Addi's stuffed animals and blankets were piled in there.  When I walked in, they were talking about bubbles.  Huh?  Who knows.  They're still kind of being little chatterboxes in there.  I might sense a rough day tomorrow.  It's a daycare day, so they can't take a nap whenever they want. 

Overall, the transition has been much better than anticipated.  I was expecting them to migrate out of the bedroom many, many times a night and for us to have to carry them back to bed.  But so far, they pretty much stay put in their rooms.  Like I said, tonight they've been little chatterboxes, but that could be due to the late nap they had because of company.  They might not be quite as tired as normal.  But on the whole, it's been a success.

First snowfall

The girls enjoyed the first snowfall of the year.  Unfortunately for them, the snow is now gone.  I definitely wouldn't mind if it didn't come back.  But for the girls sake, I hope we eventually get a few inches that stick around for a while.  As you'll see, they went sledding in our front yard!  There were only a couple problems...our front yard isn't terribly slanted and you can still see the grass beneath the snow!  We sure didn't get a lot of white stuff, but they had fun anyway.

I'm so in love

We welcomed a new member into our family!  On November 18th, a beautiful little baby was born.  My brother and sister-in-law had their first baby.  I'm now the proud auntie of a gorgeous baby girl.  Our sweet little niece took her time in getting here as she was two days overdue, but the little peanut only weighed 7#2oz.  We had the pleasure of getting to meet her when she was just 6 1/2 hours old! 

I will never forget receiving the phone call from my brother announcing that she was a SHE!  I was in disbelief!  Another little girl for my side of the family.  And I will never forget meeting her for the very first time.  She is amazingly beautiful and absolutely perfect.

I am so in love.

Out of the mouths of babes...

Conversation that happened a couple days ago:

Livi:  "Mama, I'm gonna talk to Baby Elli."
Me:  "Okay, honey"
(she picks up my cell phone)
Livi:  "Hello?? Baby Elli?? Are you there?"
(long pause, gently puts down the phone, dejected look on her face)
Livi:  "Baby Elli's not there" (hangs her head and slowly walks off)
Me thinking:  Child, you're breaking my heart

3 hours later...

Livi:  "Mama, I'm gonna talk to Baby Elli"
Me thinking: Here we go again
Me:  "Okay, honey"
(she picks up my cell phone)
Livi:  "Hello?? Baby Elli?? Are you there?"
(pause....)
Livi:  "Oh, you're in Heaven? With Jesus? Oh!"
(long pause....)
Livi:  "Well, I love you Baby Elli." (puts down the phone and prances off)
Me thinking:  Child, you're breaking my heart...again

Tough stuff

Today Elli would be 14 months old. Today also marks exactly 20 weeks, 140 days, since we said goodbye. I can't describe how it feels to go to bed each night and see Elli's blanket laying across my pillow, waiting for me. How it feels to tuck it under my chin and snuggle with it as I attempt to drift off to sleep. I can't describe the ache in my heart. The empty void. There are just no words to adequately describe any of it.

We're having our family pictures taken tomorrow. It seems so wrong. So, so, so wrong. My family is not complete. We're missing a huge part. I know I need to move forward with them, but I feel like I'm betraying Elli. I feel like I can't call them "family pictures"...because Elli won't be there.

I'm sorry the blog is not all sunshine and roses.  However, this is my reality...it's far from sunshine and roses.  I understand if people no longer want to read (family included), because not everything I say will be cheery.  There's so much sadness in my heart.  Tonight is one of those really rough nights.  I needed an outlet.  This was it.

The day has come

The girls climb out of their cribs.  We put them in big girl beds for one night back in January.  But when our non-sleeper migrated over to our sleeper's bed about six times in the middle of the night and then about five times during nap that next afternoon, we promptly put the cribs back together.  Hey, if they were sleeping reasonably well in their cribs before, why rock the boat, right?

Fast forward 10 months.  About a week ago they started climbing out just in the morning and at the end of nap time.  It was a nice little surprise in the morning to have my two little munchkins greet me at my bedside.  Nate and I contemplated breaking the cribs down into big girl beds again, however, they were only coming out once "sleepy time" was over.  But it happened...

They now climb out when they simply don't want to be in bed.  We put them to bed one hour and fifteen minutes ago.  And we've put them back in bed several times.  They seem kind of content right now.  I'm hoping it lasts for the rest of the night.  Now that they're climbing out whenever they want (as opposed to just when "sleepy time" is over), we'll probably be breaking the cribs down tomorrow.  There's no sense in keeping them in the cribs and risk them getting hurt getting out.  So big girl beds it will be.  Here's to several bedtime battles coming up!!!

Halloween 2011

What does a dragon say?  "Rawr!"

 

I think this is Addi.

And I think this is Livi.

Livi was running back and forth with all the pumpkins.

One of my dragons (Addi) peaking at her treats.

Love it.